On days like these, David felt that his whole existence was one thought away from madness. It was not a good day, but yet again it was a day like any other. David suppressed the screaming voice of boredom that was lodged in his throat and looked out at the sea of sullen faces of English 11C and said with as much encouragement as he could muster,

"Back to Othello, then. Turn to Act 5 scene 2. Who's going to read today? Othello - Ben?"

"No sir, he's a tossa."

"I can't read it, sir, I don't get it. Why do we have to do Shakespeare? It's so gay."

"Can I be Esmerelda, sir?"

"Desdemona, you mean?"

"Yeh, the slag." Giggle.

"I think you mean Bianca."

"I wanna read Ee-yar -gos. Is he the one who wants to fu- I mean do Othello in?"

"No- you read him last time..."

"Can't we watch a movie?" and so the class degenerated into its usual 'this-is so-crap-but-anything-else-anyone-else-suggests-is-crappier' squabble which would take up another 5 minutes.

God, every bloody time - the same same same. The screaming voice was safely confined somewhere in his belly now, so David risked a look at the infinitely slow-moving clock, then down at his carefully prepared lesson plan with a rueful smile. The school administration in their enthusiasm for progress and efficiency, and more pressingly their desire to maintain the Ofsted 'A' school status, had implemented easy-to-use lesson plan templates for all subject teachers, with clear guidelines for 'successful and engaging lessons' - in both electronic and hard copy format. It was obvious that the designers of the template and the curriculum had not been in a classroom for a very long time, as this irrelevant piece of beurocrasy, which was only of slight interest to an Ofsted Inspector, was about as useful to seasoned teachers such as himself as a chocolate teapot.

National Curriculum Standard Benchmark: 2:1(i-vi) Compulsory Shakespeare Study. Why, oh why make Shakespeare compulsory? Apart from teaching students lessons in enduring their futures?

Objectives: To instil an appreciation of literature and improve knowledge and awareness of literary devices. The amount of penis drawing on desks and homework papers increased dramatically during Shakespeare.

1.Warm-up and engage students with kinaesthetic, visual or aural activities. His one attempt to teach students iambic pentameter by hopping up and down had resulted in a kicking fight between a couple of heavy-booted Goths, and a clumsy, large girl twisting her ankle.

2.Knowledge & Enduring Understanding: aka learning. What do the students learn? In twenty of years of teaching he still failed to convince the majority of his students that Shakespeare was anything other than boring and 'gay'.

3. Conclude with reflective comments and thought-provoking questions for students to take away and ponder: Any attempt to summarise and reflect would result in students giving a pavlovian collective sigh of relief and packing away their books and papers. Any final philosophical, ponderous comments would be drowned out with the scraping of pushed back chairs and a mass rush towards the door.

David quickly abandoned the futile lesson plan and resorted to some simple gimmick-free, old-fashioned teaching, until to everyone's relief, the bell sounded release and it was all over. He pulled out his mobile from his pocket and glimpsed hopefully at the screen.

One new message: From Emma. Bill & Jo coming for dinner, DON'T go to pub.

The screaming voice raged to the surface again and threatened to escape. A sober night of smug Bill and self-righteous Joanne was more than he could bear. Suddenly, the voice inside him went very quiet and still. Calmly, he pulled up the Expedia page on his computer that had been there all day, and without hesitation this time hit BUY THIS TICKET NOW. LHR - JNB. While waiting for the documents to print, he considered whether to go home and pack some bits to take, but on reflection he decided it best not to - his passport was already in his jacket pocket - and Emma would think he had gone totally mad. Maybe he had, he reflected, but it felt bloody marvellous.

Once inside his car, the suppressed voice inside finally surfaced, not as an anguished howl, but as a triumphant whoop. He had been waiting for a reason or excuse to do this for so long, but there was always at least ten reasons why not to do it. And yet, he had simply just done it. Just like that! He was finally taking charge of his destiny. Even so, with the adrenalin still pumping through his body, was he really, or was he simply running away from the terminal boredom that was stifling his life? Whatever the reason, he inhaled deeply, already smelling the dry heat of the awaiting African air.

"A Moment of Madness " by Amanda Briggs