"Get it together Microsoft" by Ian Hearnden

Microsoft,
I used to hold you aloft, as the epitome of the cutting edge,
but now I've gone off you cos it appears to me that this pledge of yours,
"your potential, our passion", counts for not a jot when my system keeps crashing.

My cyber essentials have been neglected; my online user credentials are now unprotected.
My hotmail password's on the net; it should not be that easy to get, but your safeguards are too
lax...so my details've been hacked...those are the cold hard facts...should've got a Mac...

'cos now every time I boot up my PC, I'm scared to use it - I open my email and peruse it, and
every message I see, I think,
"Who's it from?
Is it who the hell it says it is or just a nom de plume? Can I trust the url on it, or will
downloading spell doom? Is this truly Julie from HR, or some nerd in a windowless room?"

So if a speccy phisher sets up a rogue domain,
and I click on an attachment but then find it's all in vain,
as the contents of my bank account disappear down the drain.
don't go passing the buck and saying I'm the one to blame,
cos the 28 passwords I use on the net are all the bleedin' same,
and my security question's always "What's your mother's maiden name?"
Don't be asking me where I want to go today, there's not a cat in hell's chance I'll get there anyway.

You think you're number one, but your Windows 7 wouldn't even make my first eleven; no,
your boasts about your new OS do not remotely float my boat.
in fact they're already getting my goat, so consider yourself toast, and no longer my host.
I'm fed up with your can-do prattle.
My contract with you stops right now, it terminates, it ends.
From this point on I make a vow to communicate with friends
By Apple.

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